1) As a little kid Chuck Norris had a paper route, this route is now known as the Tour De France.
2) Chuck Norris never opens a cap of whoop ass, he makes his from scratch.
3) Chuck Norris wears a tank top made from a real tank.
4) Chuck Norris can sharpen a knife with a balloon.
5) When God stubs his toe, he yell Chuck damn it!
6) Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
7) Chuck Norris does not lick his postage stamps, he looks at them and they wet themselves.
8) Handicapped parking is reserved for Chuck Norris, the picture on the sign shows what will happen if you park there.
9) Chuck Norris was never aware of the filing of Walker, Texas Ranger.
10) Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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